Countdown to Freedom...

I'm Gonna Make No Money!

2006-07-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

I am just excited about this fact. (Not really.)

What's exciting is I might actually be doing something I like. I just want to get past the bar right now.

Poop on it. I'm going over my workbook, just trying to retain information. I hate my life.

EDIT:
Here is proof. Granted this information is about six years old, but it can't have change that much.
This is a difference of $66,000 between my first job offer (that was latter retracted) and the average salary of the job I'm most likely to get. I'm really going out on a limb here...

Frustration at Craig's List

2006-07-15T15:21:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to post furniture for sale. The website isn't really connecting. It's like being on a dial-up.

I hate this. There is no reason for this and I want to kick Craig.

EDIT:
I tried again and finally got this message:

Error

Craigslist is currently undergoing some brief maintenance.

Please sit tight, and try again later.

We are aware of the situation, and the happy craigslist elves are scurrying to make it better, even now.

Well it's about fucking time.

Searching for an Old Friend

2006-07-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

I once had a friend. I was 17; he was 23. Six years difference isn't much now, but it felt like the world when I was 17. We had a deep connection. It wasn't physical. We never even kissed. I was away at boarding school and he was still back home. He wrote me emails and letters. I don't know where the letters went, but I found the emails today. I saved them on a computer I was about to sell.

I re-read the letters. They were often deep meaningful letters. Sometimes he was merely responding to an adolescent who was unsure how to act around guys, especially older ones.

In one email he talks about the time we sat in the park, sporadically talking, taking 3 to 5 minute breaks of silence. I still remember that day. I remember in those bouts of silence wanting to say something, but in my mind I was having a debate about whether to remain silent. He saw maturity where I was merely trying to act mature.

His letter got more and more depressing. He was lost in a quarter-life crisis, and I didn't know how to respond. I was caught between liking him and feeling like the age gap was insurmountable. He was about to finish college and I was just about to start.

Professions of adoration and eventually love were in each of the emails. He put up with a neurotic teenager, barely ready to become an adult. I did love him. I do love him still. He was the first person in my life who I truly loved outside of my family.

I lost touch with him and can't find him now. Unfortunately he has a very common name. I want to know if he's alright. I want to find my friend and reach out with a hand of understanding, which is something I was incapable of when we were friends back then.

I miss David Crook.

Dirty Little Secret

2006-07-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

I just bought a Kelly Clarkson CD.

I have hit the "bar" wall.

I've watched 8 episodes of the West Wing in less than 24 hours.

I washed my dishes wishing for a nose plug because it had been that long since I cleaned them.

I watched The Family Stone the morning.

Studying at its Finest

2006-06-24T20:09:00.000-07:00

You know those naps you take that you think you're not really sleeping until you wake up and realize you were in a deep sleep? I managed to have one of those while studying. I started out sleeping just on my arms, then I ended up turned around, head on the pillows, under the covers somehow in the midst of my not-sleeping.

I woke up because my friend was calling. Thank god she did. I might have slept another hour or two. I was having weird dreams of trying to get a text book while my friends, all dressed in grey suits, were waiting in the library for a professor or something, but the librarian was slowly liberating a guy from the bowels of another professor by gathering his tie, books, etc as the other students cheered him on every time he picked up an item. Yeah, it was a weird dream.

Now I will finish my homework from today so I can do my homework from yesterday...

I Do Not Bite My Thumb at You, Sir

2006-06-22T19:50:00.001-07:00

I go to spinning classes fairly often. I feel I'm often up to the challenge. I went again tonight. I thought it would be good because I had been so productive today.

Earlier in the day, I cut my thumb on the yogurt foil. (This is important! Pay attention!) It bled a little, but a Kleenex did the job.

Later at spinning class, I started out at my normal pace. I felt I was "challenging myself" while "listening to my body." But then I lost speed. I had trouble keeping up. I kept drinking water, but all that seemed to happen was my thumb. Throbbing. It kept saying "fuck you" on every heart beat. ("fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.") It wouldn't stop. It was the monster that sucked away all my energy.

When there were about 20 minutes left of my hour-long class, I got off the bike. I had pushed through before, but today I was left with the need to vomit and the light-headedness. I walked out the class, trying to be discrete. What should the instructor do, but say "Thank you" to me through the microphone. I always thought it was because she was trying to be nice, but do you know why she does it?

To call me out! Yes, I'm the loser who has to leave class early. My thumb has taken over my entire body, and I must leave so it can plan world domination. Thank you for pointing out to then entire class what a loser I am.

So, I drove home. But, I don't really remember doing this. I think my thumb remembered the way or something. I almost hit a car, a biker, a bird, and a pedestrian. Don't drink and drive? How about don't spin and drive? Or, don't cut your thumb on a yogurt foil, then go to spinning class, and then leave because you're so light-headed that you can't bike anymore... and drive.

My Bar Study Theme Song

2006-06-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

Chris Isaak's "I Wonder"

When I was younger I believed, that dreams came true.
Now I wonder.
Cause' I've seen much more dark skies, than blue.
Now I wonder.

I keep on praying for a blue sky, I keep on searching through the rain.
I keep on thinking of the good times, will they ever come again?
Now I wonder.
Now I wonder.

I keep on praying for a blue sky, I keep on searching through the rain.
I keep on thinking of the good times, will they ever come again?
Now I wonder.
Now I wonder.

When I was younger I believed, that I could win.
Now I wonder.
There was a time when you and I, walked hand & hand.
Now I wonder.

I keep on searching for the old me, I keep on thinking I can change.
I keep on hoping for a new day, will I ever feel the same?
Now I wonder.
Oh I wonder.
Now I wonder.

@*#%!

2006-06-18T14:26:00.000-07:00

How is it that I didn't stress over moving until I involved my parents? I figured it would be as simple as finding movers, loading up the truck, driving across country, finding a place, letting the movers know, and unloading my stuff.

Now my parents are saying, why don't you go first and then get your stuff? This is prohibitive for a few reasons:

1. Rent at my apartment is $850. Movers $2000. Paying an extra month's rent is almost as much as half the moving cost. Why would I pay September rent and pay for a mover? Getting my shit out of the apartment is best achieved as soon as possible. I get back from Europe on the 23. That gives me 8 days to pack and clean the apartment.

2. Flying to DC is expensive. It would cost over $300 to go after I got back from Europe. I can try to go over the 4th of July, but the cost would be just as much, and I would need to continue studying for the bar while on this little excursion. In addition, how many places available Sept. 1 can I find at the beginning of July?

3. Paying full service movers to get my stuff from some sort of storage here in Portland will most likely cost much more than just loading up the truck and sending it on its way. Plus, I'll have to pay for storage.

Why is it so hard for my parents to just realize that what is best for me is to move all my shit to DC as soon as possible. If the movers pick up my shit on August 31, it is highly unlikely that it will get there before September 14. It will take me about 3 or 4 days to drive to DC. Trailer trucks take much longer. The company will keep it at the terminal for 2 days free of charge. If I get to DC by September 6, then I will have 10 days to look for an apartment before I start incurring fees. If I really need, I can get a storage room for about $200 for a month. That gives me until October 16.

Why can't this be considered a good plan? Why is leaving my stuff and looking for a place a better plan?

Procrastination

2006-06-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

How many times can a girl watch Band of Brothers and cry? Well, in my case, it's at least 4.

I have been watching an episode a day, but today, I watched two. It's virtually impossible for me to watch the second to last episode without watching the last one. It's just so close, that I can't let go of it.

So, now I'm going to study a little. Then I'm going to watch the end of Schindler's List. Yes, yes. It's more depressing WWII movies. Give me a break.

Free Beer!

2006-06-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the cable gods were punishing me for trying to procrastinate when the onDemand wasn't working. Today the beer gods were praising me for doing so much work!

I ordered take-out because I've run out of food in my apartment. I decided I wanted to pick up some beer next door to my favorite take-out restaurant. I walked up to the bar, asked for my favorite beer to go. They didn't have a six-pack, but the bartender asked me if I'd like the new 'Supris', but I'd never had it before. He said he'd let me try some. I expected the small sample glass, but he pulled out the six-pack, handed it to me and told me "Happy Birthday!" Then he whispered that they give six-packs out for birthdays.

I smiled and thanked him graciously. Then I figured the beer gods were telling me I did a good job today and I was done with the studying for the day.

Comcastic? I Think Not

2006-06-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

Comcast has foiled my attempts to procrastinate. I'm trying to watch Sex and the City on demand, but that portion of the cable service is down and should be up in 2-3 hours. ARGH! What do they expect me to do? Study?!

I Want a Manly Man

2006-06-12T13:15:00.000-07:00

While watching "The Birds" last night, I once again had the thought that I don't want no sissy man. The main character in the movie had chest hair, could pick up his love interest in one fell swoop, and knew how to take charge of a situation. I'm sure he'd know what was wrong with my car when it started to make funny noises.

Call it anti-feminist if you will, but I don't think there's anything wrong in wanting a guy to know how to change a tire or be able to carry me out a burning building. There are just some things in life that need taking care of. (I mean, who wants to change the tire on the interstate where the tire is on the same side as traffic, and if I pass out from smoke inhalation, I don't mind having to be rescued. There are just some things a girl can't or shouldn't do for herself. And this always involves something that will prematurely end her life. What's wrong with asking the guy to risk his for you? I think that's pretty feminist if you ask me.)

And The Birds was frickin' scary. Yes, I did laugh at some parts, but I was ooked out having to walk to my bedroom in the dark. The parts where peoples eyes were pecked out were just a little to graphic for me. (And can anyone tell me why the hell these people didn't leave much sooner than they did?)

I ♥ Entourage (and hate my keyboard)

2006-06-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

I saw the first episode of season 3, and you can tell it's going to be a great season... There was a discontinuity in the story in terms of how Johnny and Vince were half-brothers, but I guess I'll just overlook it. Now I have to wait for a week to pass by to see the new one. This is the sucky part.

Oh and what else is sucky is my frickin' left shift button. It's on the fritz and only works about half the time. This definitely slows down my typing. I WILL have to get this fixed.

I Would Have Become a Blonde for Hitchcock...

2006-06-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

...And maybe my daddy, but he'd never asked me to.

The more Hitchcock films I watch, the more blondes I see. He seems to have an affinity for them. I never thought I would have ever become a one, but his lead roles always seem to be a towhead.

I'm watching The Birds right now. I can't wait until the birds start attacking. I can't imagine it's very frightening. I plan on taking a trip down to San Fran before I leave the Pacific Northwest. Maybe I'll make a detour to Bodega and see if I can find some good photo ops... and maybe a blonde wig to go with it.

WTF?!

2006-06-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

Why the hell can't I study?

Why do I procrastinate so much?

Why do I keep eating these damn gummie bears?

Why Don't We Recognize?

2006-06-06T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today is the anniversary of D-Day. I strangely managed to celebrate it without knowing. I watched the first episode of Band of Brothers which is all about D-Day.

I wish that I could remember it when I wake up, not at the end of the day...

It's Just a Book

2006-06-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

But it moves me so.

Oh, Crap!

2006-05-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

Poop is one of my favorite subjects. It's surprising I haven't talked about it before. Just ask any of my friends or family. I have no qualms about talking about my poop. Now it is time to tell you.

Last night I went to a show at a venue near my house. I walked there, naturally. I sat for a while, sipping my G&T when it hit me. I had some stomach cramps going on. I tried to discreetly pass gas, but nothing would pass. I noticed that the room was starting to feel really hot. Then I figured out it was me. I decided it was time to take a little trip to the bathroom.

When I got there, a girl was waiting outside the bathroom. I suddenly felt a little relief knowing I would be alone in the room. When the girl came out of the bathroom, it was all of a sudden obvious that there were two stall in the room. Great. I was going to have to crap/fart with someone else in the room. Also, there was no lock on the stall door.

I got down to business, but I was lucky. The bathroom was right next to the stage, so none of my business could be heard. And I emptied out my bowels. It was a hunched over type dump. Unfortunately, someone came into the bathroom and opened my stall door, though I tried to make it obvious when they walked in that I was in it by grabbing the door with my hand. (This was easy since I was folded in two at this point.)

I finished up, thinking that would have to trek back home after only being there for a portion of the first act. I got up to flush the toilet, and I promise it was not pretty. Then I pushed the flushy lever, but there was no movement in the toilet. I started to freak out. While I don't mind emptying my guts in public, I don't want people having to look at it. I pleaded with the forces of nature to make the toilet flush, and slowly but surely a slow swirl started to form.

Everything went down and I went out to wash my hands. I dabbed the sweat off my face and neck and looked in the mirror. It wasn't so bad. I was determined to stick it out. I went back to the bar, and all signs of my prior cramps were gone. I stayed through all four acts and got sufficiently buzzed to be able to walk home with blistery feet all five blocks. Replacing poop with beer is always a good thing.

Grades

2006-05-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when all I really cared about was passing, I got disappointed when I saw my grades? True, I did pick my schedule based on the least amount of finals I would have to take, and I did write my paper for sports law in a week. Still, I thought seminars were great because people don't really get below a B or B-. Well, I guess someone forgot to inform the adjunct professor...

OK. As of right now, I'm still passing. I just might not be passing in the top 50% of my class. That kind of makes me feel lame...

An Instant Reply to an Earlier Post

2006-05-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

There's something about a cool pre-summer evening breeze and an Alfred Hitchcock film set in France playing on the big screen that can offset a bad day and make a person believe in love again. Somehow the beautiful Grace Kelly, suave Cary Grant, and scenic Cannes shoreline mixed together to completely change my outlook on life.

I feel refreshed and happy. It feels like someone pushed the reset button on my faith-in-love button. Closing my eyes and sighing brings a smile to my face. You have to love a movie that can do that...

Relationship Blues

2006-05-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

The hardest part of a relationship is not the break-up (which is incredibly difficult and makes me want to throw up) but the returning of stuff. I find myself trying to leave very little behind, requiring very little effort or heartache when the relationship ends. The pain of a break-up is only drug out by the returning of stuff because he's not really out of your life until his stuff is. It doesn't help if the last thing he told you was that he wanted it back.

I never try to on keep anything. In fact, I tend to return more than heleft behind. I include almost anything that reminds me of him. I threw away the extra toothbrush the next morning. That act was very sad, though. There's no middle ground with the toothbrush. You can't be just friends and keep it. It's either next to yours or in the trash, but I didn't even want to keep it for a little while.

This and the returning of the stuff made me think about my recent relationships. I seriously am the black widow lately. It's not that I don't want to date. It's just I can't find people who I feel are worth the effort. There are so many things that go into this determination. Worthiness is hard to pinpoint, but easy to see when it's not there. I've come up with a few good things to look at, though.

1. How does he treat you when you're sick? This is a key point. Even when you're just friends with someone, how you are treated when you're sick is the ultimate indicator of how that person feels about you. I should not have to ask for food or drink, and I surely should not have to cook it myself.

2. Does he take pride in your accomplishments? Achievements in life should be important and should be acknowledged. You shouldn't have to keep reminding anyone why what you've accomplished is so valuable or important. If he can't recognize that you've reached a milestone, there is a good chance that he can't value you. Your accomplishments define who you are. He should be just as proud, or more so, when you are proud.

3. Does he notice when you do small things for him? I'm not saying that you should do things just to get noticed, but when you make his bed, do his dishes, or buy him a small something that reminds you of him, he should appreciate it. You shouldn't feel that you're efforts go unnoticed. You do them out of love, and if he can't appreciate or recognize that, how can he ever do the same for you?

4. Finally, you should never feel bad about yourself. You shouldn't feel that if you just changed this one thing that everything would be perfect. Believe me, we all have faults, but part of a relationship is accepting them. Even if you change this one thing, I'm positive that something else will replace it. We are imperfect beings and we should be loved, not in spite of, but because of this.

Here's something to ponder. My 17-year-old brother just bought his girlfriend a $50 necklace (with diamonds) to celebrate their six-month anniversary. If my 17-year-old brother can figure this out, a guy in his 20s should be able to do this and more.

I'm special and worth the effort, and don't you forget it.

End of an Era

2006-05-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

I am done with law school. I just finished my last law school final. I drank a lot of vodka. I ate cereal when I got home. Now I blog. A wonderful end to the story. I wonder if the blog should even be kept up...

I turned off the alarm. The possibilities are endless. I plan on shopping for an end-of-the-year-party outfit tomorrow. Maybe I'll play the Sims. It doesn't matter. I have no other obligations!

The Perfect Communist Model?

2006-05-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

So I'm a Star Trek geek. I've known this forever. I grew up on it. Star Wars was a part of my adult life.

So while studying for my last law school final EVER, I had this thought: Star Trek is the perfect model for communism. They have no money. Everyone is united by the common goal of bettering humanity. Everyone realizes there is a greater goal when they realize they are not alone in the universe.

Do you think I can use that on my final? I guess it would only work if the professor were a Star Trek geek himself. Though looking at him at school, I would suspect there is a good chance he is geek enough... Maybe he's just a law geek though. It's so hard to tell. There was a time in my life when geek was just geek.

Better Questions for my Final

2006-05-04T14:42:00.000-07:00

My last final is for Jurisprudence in Property (basically, how did we come up with the laws for property that we have). I have decided that there are better ways to do this. Namely, using Lost as a backdrop for these issues.

Question 1: Is there any basis for the Other's claim that the Island is theirs when no one (other than Dharma and the Lostaways) are aware the island even exists?

Question 2: Do the medical miracles that occur (for Rose, Jin, and Locke) give the these particular Lostaways some claim in the land that everyone else on the island does not have? In answering this question, think about whether anyone should have ownership in medical miracles or the island that produces them.

Question 3: When the food drops occur, does the ownership of the island play any part in ownership of the food? In answering this question, think about Locke's (the philosopher) idea that labor is necessary for ownership.

Question 4: The hatch requires certain numbers be pressed ever 108 minutes. Does Locke's labor theory play any part in ownership of the hatch?

Question 5: What property claims does Sawyer have on all the guns he stole and is now holding hostage?

Bonus question: If Hurley is crazy and making it all up, what television show would J.J. Abrams be ripping off (and can that television show own the right to the whole show all being in someone's head)?

Don't Judge Me...

2006-04-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

But I'm sitting at home, watching Jerry Springer. This is awesome. Right now there is a cat fight between two overweight women in wedding dresses over a skinny dude who bought a 15 dollar engagement ring from Wal-Mart. Apparently these two women were best friends for 10 years. This guy slept with the best friend two days ago and wants to marry her now instead of the first fiancee.

The best friend is reading bad poetry. The reverend is trying to marry the new couple, but the first fiancee is clawing at the bride, groom, and reverend. After the second couple marries, the first fiancee is on the ground, screaming and pulling on the best friend's wedding dress.

Also, the commercials are so funny. They're either disability lawyers or 9-month college programs. I think there is definitely a "target" audience here.

OOH. Now there is a new woman on stage who wants to get married. She put off college to take care of her kids. She does this by stripping. Her fiancee doesn't know. She stripped to help pay for the wedding, but now she wants to get married on the Jerry Springer show. Now she's in her bra and underwear, swinging on a pole. The groom just told her that he was "hittin'" her maid of honor.

I wonder if this is all acting... It seems too unreal.

Home, Home on the Range

2006-04-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving for Louisiana tonight (well, technically Wednesday morning midnight-thirty)! I'm quite excited. Only two family members know about it: my mom and my aunt Penny. It's going to be a big surprise for everyone else. My dad has no idea and I'm pretty sure that he's missing me a lot.

I can't wait. It's been a long time since I've gone home. (Well, Christmas seems like a long time ago.) I won't be able to go home for a while -- there's the bar and studying for the bar. And my family's coming up for grad. There's no point in going right before they come up.

I have to go home and finish a paper and make a presentation. I don't want to take any work home. I don't imagine it being too hard.

Then I'm going to make dinner tonight too. It's going to be a good night.

Spring Break, Day 4

2006-03-30T21:37:00.000-08:00

Today will be a short entry because I didn't do much.

I went to work.

I got fired, let go, got my walking papers, was given the pink slip, etc.

I don't need to study for the patent bar anymore. That's the good news. That and the extra 16 hours a week I'll have free.

Spring Break, Day 3

2006-03-29T17:14:00.000-08:00

You didn't think I'd keep this up, did you? Well, I've proven you all wrong.

I heard this morning that President Bush is in Cancun right now. Apparently there is some sort of US/Mexico Conference going on right now, but who really believes that? I mean, Bush, Cancun, Spring Break? Riiiight. Whoever planned that date was a GENIUS.

I was less productive today, but I did get my Oregon driver's license. I read through the 100 pages of DMV booklet and drove on over to the DMV. I only missed one questions (97% correct is my best score in years), and I was awarded a shiny new license. I am now registered to vote in Oregon as well. I love marking the Democrat box with enthusiasm.

I went to work. I attempted to do some reading. I'm getting ready to go get my hair cut. Then the boy and I are going to my aunt's for dinner. It's his first exposure to my family. Wish him luck. I plan on reading while waiting for my turn at the hair dresser. Seriously.

Tomorrow: full day of work. Where did my spring break go?

Spring Break, Day 2

2006-03-28T11:52:00.000-08:00

Today is a gorgeous spring day that I will use to sit outside and read research for a paper that was due a week ago. It's one of those wonderful days where people slowly crawl outside to wash their cars in droves.

This wonderful spring weather gives me a renewed sense of style because I can wear the really cute clothes that don't require layers upon layers. I have new outfits that I can create because I don't have to wear my big pea coat today.

Still, even with all this weather, listening to Jack Johnson on repeat makes me want to pack up and move to Hawai'i to become a professional ukulele player or surfboarder even though I have never touched a ukulele, have no musical inclination, have never surfboarded a day in my life, and avoid going far out into the ocean for fear of sharks or drowning. Still the really happy tunes remind me of a place I have never visited and I want to give up all my schooling to lay on a beach everyday. I wonder if that would get boring after a while.

Now I must continue the week of productivity and get my head out of the sand. I woke up and exercised. I plan on continuing this for the rest of the week. I will take my research, read it outside, and then go to work for 4.5 hours. After that, more patent bar! Woot.

Hawai'i sounds so much nicer right now.

Spring Break, Day 1

2006-03-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

Today is what I would consider the first "official" day of spring break. This weekend was just the weekend. Today is spring break...

I have begun what I hope to be a productive week. Here's what I did (because I feel the need to express, not repress):
1. Got a massage
2. Turned in my bar application (that included notarizing, fingerprinting, and turning it all in)
3. Helped load up a dresser I sold a few weeks ago
4. Wrote the client letter for Advanced Legal Writing
5. Updated my Quicken accounts (including downloading activities for all my credit cards and bank accounts)

Now I'll start studying for the patent bar. Yea me!

SLACKER

2006-03-21T10:59:00.000-08:00

So I haven't posted.

I haven't picked up my bar application. (Meaning I haven't filled it out yet and it's due by the end of March.)

I haven't cleaned up my apartment in forever. (Meaning, I have dirty dishes everywhere.)

PS I hate school.

I'm a Bad Blogger

2006-03-01T11:03:00.000-08:00

Forgive me, Server, for I have sinned. It's been 23 days since my last post.

I have been very distracted these past few days. Work, class, SBA, work. There has been some going out in between. In addition, I've been fighting an infection for which I finally get antibiotics. It only took a week for me to get fed up.

Anyway, those are just excuses. On a better note, I have been approved for a mortgage. Now I'm searching for a home to call my own. I can't wait to move away from my landlord and the creepy neighbor.

And Lent has started. This year I'm giving up iTunes and ice cream. No longer will I fulfill the gripping need to have a song RIGHT NOW or partake in the ice creameries that do business around my apartment. No, this Lent is about true personal sacrifice, especially since I have half a pint of ice cream in my freezer.

And there's a new LOST tonight. That means I have to watch it because I can't download episodes I miss the day after it airs. Ooh, this Lent will be a hard one, but I don't think it will be as bad as last year...

Why?!

2006-02-06T09:49:00.000-08:00

Why can't I have a Sonic anywhere in Oregon?! I miss it.

Looking at O states on the Sonic website... Ohio, Oklahoma, but no Oregon!

Whhhhhy?

REFUND BABY

2006-01-29T14:36:00.000-08:00

I just filled out my federal tax forms. I'm looking at about 4,000 back! Whoo hoo. Let's all praise the tuition dollars!

Looks like I'll get about 500 back from Oregon, but I'll have to pay 230 to the county. Damn county taxes.

I'm still happy with my overall refund. Or as I like to call it: Re-Fun.

Living History...

2006-01-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

I got an impromptu invitation last night to attend the Hillary Clinton fundraiser. I apparently missed the memo that she was coming into town. Of course I accepted this offer; I love her.

We arrive about an hour and a half before check-in. Since it was at a hotel, we wasted about an hour having a drink. Then we waited for the check-in to begin. If you've never attended a democratic party function, just imagine a group of chickens running around a chicken coup. There was absolutely no order to anything.

In an attempt to be prepared, there were 8 lists printed of the "paid" customers. Eight identical copies. There was no attempt to ever form a line. Instead, people just lined a wall in a random fashion. Somehow, showing up early, we ended up in the middle of the line They remedied this by moving part of the line behind another part, with us ending up in front. It made no sense, but we were still first.

Checking in required nothing but a name. The alphabet was not broken down into sections. Since I did not show an ID, a second (or third or seventh) person could have gone up to one of the other 7 people checking us in and pretended to be me and would have gotten in with no issue.

So we walked in, ready to sit down. Only, there were no chairs. Seriously. It was like a rock concert or something. So we stood some more.

Then Hillary was an hour late. No one apologized or anything. There was a woman who was there to introduce the representative who was there to introduce the Governor who was there to introduce Hillary. Seriously.

She gave a brief speech. I took a few (or 20) pictures. Then I waited in line as she made her way through the crowd. I was so nervous waiting for her. I had never been that nervous before. I normally don't give a shit about these things. I waited patiently with my book and was told to put away my pen. Hillary had her own.

I asked another girl to take my picture with Hillary when she arrived to sign my book. Then Hillary was right in front of me. The only words I spoke were, "Senator Clinton, I would like to take a picture with you."

I didn't shake her hand or say anything more. Had I said anything else, it would have been, "OmigodIloveyouIhaveapictureofyouandyourhusbandupinmylivingroom." Seriously. This is why I kept my mouth shut.

POP Goes the Weasel

2006-01-23T17:12:00.000-08:00

I noticed that my armpit was a little sore a while back. I thought it was just a normal thing I get every now and then.

On Friday, it wasn't gone yet. In fact, it had gotten bigger. I called my mom and she suggested it was an ingrown hair or a blocked sweat gland. Greeeeeaaaat.

On Saturday, it was worse and actually uncomfortable. I called my uncle (who is a doctor). He was going to look into getting some numbing medicine.

On Sunday, my uncle couldn't find the medicine. I called OHSU family medical center. The doctor told me if it didn't pop on its own, I'd have to go in the next day.

On Monday, my lump was larger and actually red. I skipped my first class. I made an appointment. I went into the doctor's office. When the doctor saw the lump, she was a little surprised by how ready it was to pop. She consulted another doctor to make sure that her assessment was right.

The needle. I had to be numbed. I hate that I don't like needles. Pricky and burny. Then I was numb. When the doctor cut into the lump, IT WHEEZED! There was so much pressure that my lump wheezed. We all laughed. I couldn't stop laughing.

I'm a little sore now. But that lump is gone. Thank god. I still want to laugh when I think of the wheezing.

Because This Made Me Laugh Out Loud

2006-01-19T16:34:00.000-08:00

... I had to post it:

From Weekend Update on SNL:

FEY-- "After repeated attempts by the Democrats to draw Alito out on abortion and paint him as a racist, a visibly upset Republican Senator Lindsay Graham had this to say: (Video of Graham from tape) 'I am sorry you've had to sit here and go through this. I'm sorry your family has had to sit here and listen to this' He added, 'I wish I could quit you.'"

Parks, Louisiana

2006-01-18T10:54:00.000-08:00

Here's some fun facts about my home town: Parks, Louisiana

It's 0.8 square miles large.

Population: 544

That 0.4% foreign born? That's my dad.

Why oh why?

2006-01-17T13:34:00.000-08:00

... do I have to work in an office that constantly provides sweets?

... do I not have enough will power to avoid these sweets?

... can't I get my ass to the gym to work off the holiday pounds?

... do I look so bloated in all of my Vegas pictures?

What's This Feeling Called?

2006-01-06T08:30:00.000-08:00

Today is my last day as a 24-year-old. Something happened in these last few months to change me, but today I feel like I'm in a pit.

I've been feeling strangely more confident these past few months. Confident in everything: looks, intelligence, place in life, etc. I've been living my life how I always wanted to. Then today I woke up just not feeling the same. I feel like I'm in a funk.

Maybe it has something to do with visiting my old college town. I feel out of place here. I used to feel like a puzzle piece in the city that snapped together nicely with everything around me. Now I feel like that piece of the puzzle that almost fits but when you put it in place, the puzzle buckles.

I know it sound like I'm trying to say that I've outgrown this place, but I promise that's not it. I just feels like two people have grown but in different directions. Everyone else who stayed here changed with the city while I've adapted to living in a new one.

One of the best parts of being back was seeing people I hadn't seen in years, but it was a catch-up session. One of those brief moments where you don't have to fit in; I just had to be for a while. These are all people I wish I could see every day because they are all important people in my life.

I don't imagine this problem happening in the reverse -- when friends visit me. My town is a new town for them. They're catching up with me while exploring all the city has to offer. But when I'm back in my college town, I see all the places I used to go and realize I don't fit in there anymore. I would never show my face in some of the usual hangouts because I'd feel like that old person who can't let go.

I guess that's what I kind of feel like right now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2005-12-26T11:10:00.000-08:00

And that it was. Besides stuffing myself silly with all the food my family likes to go overboard on, my mom, dad, aunt, and I went to a local Indian (or is it Native American?) reservation casino last night.

I had to borrow 60 bucks from my dad because I didn't have any cash. I only needed 40 to get me started. A good hour into being there, I paid back the extra 20. By the end of the night, my dad decided to join me on the craps table. I was the only one up by this point. I helped my dad recover some of his losses. I then paid back the other 40. We were winning. We were cheering. We were high-fiving.

When I colored up at the end of the night, I had 390 dollars. I completely cleared all this. I bought my family some hot dogs in celebration. (It was the least I could do and they insisted I do it.) I still walked out 380 bucks richer.

Portland, Oregon This is the Number for You

2005-12-20T23:32:00.000-08:00

503 450 9938

Call it, listen to it, get a laugh out of it.

Good night!

Bad Date/Good Night

2005-12-20T00:39:00.000-08:00

It was late Monday night/early Tuesday morning as I walked home on Hawthorne. I was alone, evidenced by the echo of my footsteps. Nothing was there to absorb the sound except for an isolated car driving by every so often. As I walked home alone, I realized it had been a great night, even if it had started out terribly.

The date was so bad that I actually employed the emergency phone call in the middle of it. We conceived a believable plot. I embellished it with a true story of me, but placed the emergency caller in the role of me that night. Since I knew I'd never be talking to him again, I didn't feel bad giving away one of my best stories in the name of another friend. Still, I don't think he believed me even though the story was completely true... Just the name of the heroine had been changed.

I got home, still a little buzzed by the one drink. The one drink couldn't get me through the date. He pretended to be smarter than he was, and I found myself doing the eyeroll every time I looked away. His "styled" hair looked more like a grease pit. And his "stylish" outfit consisted of a chunky turtleneck that should have been abandoned by a guy as skinny as he was.

I got home still a little buzzed. I refused to let the awful ending be the end of my night. I decided I was going to go out. I walked the 13 blocks to the almost-dive bar in Mt. Tabor where I immediately met my ambassador for the night. Her name was Tammy. She was practically a regular. She knew the staff by name and most of the clientele as well. We talked about a number of things as she introduced me to many people. She helped me realize it wasn't the lack of education of the bad date as much as his need to prove he was so smart that made him intolerable.

Tammy sympathized with my bad date. She talked to me about good science fiction. I really didn't spend much time alone for the rest of the night. The bar tender was great. She called me by name as I told her good night. People asked if I would be returning soon.

Oh yes, I will. It might not be this year, but I will be back soon. It was too much fun to not go back. To overtake such a bad date, it REALLY had to be a good night.

SNOW?!?

2005-12-18T15:08:00.000-08:00

This is when it started:

As you can tell, these pictures show how much the snow has accumulated since then.

It's continuing to snow.

And Then It Hit Me...

2005-12-17T02:49:00.000-08:00

Finals were completely different this year. This was evidenced by the fact that during the "break" of my income tax final, I was on my cell phone discussing matter completely irrelevant to law school finals. I was talking about going see Brokeback Mountain (which you should see too.)

This Music Makes Me Want To...

2005-12-15T22:43:00.000-08:00

Smoke a cigarette. Not because I've ever wanted to smoke, but the music is so cool that you feel the ultimate way to listen to it would be with a cigarette in hand. It was recorded in 1959, so it would fit.

I opted for a glass of wine instead.

MAKE ME STUDY

2005-12-14T16:35:00.000-08:00

Does anyone have anything to help me study? I mean like make me sit down and study.

AGH!

I'm Geeking Out

2005-12-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to an oral argument that happened on Tuesday at the Supreme Court. It's the closest thing to CSPAN-3.

It's awesome to hear the voices of these people I've only seen pictures! Soooo excited.

Whoa.

2005-12-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

In the small version of my profile picture, I look cross-eyed. Odd.

Why Is Studying So Hard?

2005-12-09T11:50:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to get through my income tax study aid, but I keep getting distracted by my computer.

I'll have some valid business and then proceed to do some not so valid business. UGH. I NEED TO STUDY.

Ok, Seriously

2005-12-07T13:21:00.000-08:00

I still keep getting compliments on my hair. I've been asked for my hairdresser's number like five times. People were apparently taking about my hair on one of the shuttles. Because of this, a classmate came up and asked for my hairdresser.

I shit you not.

Edit: I've decided to include a picture of the hair cut.

My New Slogan

2005-12-06T12:29:00.001-08:00

Here are some of my favorite from The Slogan Generator:

When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Leila Overnight.

I Think, Therefore Leila.

You've Always Got Time For Leila.

No Leila, No Comment.

Have Leila Your Way.

Happiness is Leila-Shaped.

We Do Leila Right.

My Private Movie

2005-12-06T11:02:00.000-08:00

I just watched a movie last night for the second time. This morning I realized that it's going to have to be a movie that just for me. I just can't share it with anyone else. I can let people borrow it, but it's for me to watch alone.

I think it's officially worse than when I watch Austin Powers or Dirty Dancing (with brother and BR respectively).

Dijonnaise: A Melding of History

2005-12-01T18:55:00.000-08:00

Some people have never heard of Dijonnaise. It's a rather recent invention. As the name implies, it is a blend of Dijon mustard and mayonnaise. To understand this condiment, a look must be taken at the history of its parent condiments.

Mayonnaise has its roots in French cuisine. After winning a great battle over the British in 1756, a great feast was had. Unfortunately the cook was out of cream so he mixed olive oil with the raw eggs. Thus, mayo was born. There is a lot of speculation on where the name came from, but there is no consensus.

It was used as a dressing but didn't become popular in the United States in the early 1900s. In 1905 Richard Hellmann, a German immigrant, opened a deli in New York. He dressed each sandwich with his wife's mayonnaise. This dressing became so popular that he started selling it separately.

Mustard is the oldest of our condiments. For over 3,000 years the Chinese have used mustard. Egyptians used to pop mustard seeds in their mouth while eating meat. Mustard is made by grinding up mustard seeds and mixing it with oil and vinegar.

In the 13th century France began creating Dijon mustard. Dijon is a specific region of France. Dijon mustard is made with white wine. There are very specific standards for Dijon mustard and mustard can be called Dijon even when not made in France. (And Grey Poupon is a company formed in the 1700s by two men Mr. Grey and Mr. Poupon. I shit you not.)

In 1992, Hellmann's introduce Dijonnaise to its condiments list. They refer to it as a creamy mustard blend. This melding of two condiments graces the sandwiches of Americans, but it is unknown how many people truly enjoy this product. It appears to be marketed only by Hellmann's (the original mayonnaise people).

Sources:
Foodnotes
About Mustard
The Honey Dijon Mustard Website
www.Hellmanns.com
Wikipedia.org

Ketchup: An American Invention?

2005-11-30T11:06:00.000-08:00

Due to the popularity of the last post and procrastination (I watched all 5 hours of Pride and Prejudice last night), I have decided to make this a series of entries. Due to requests, today we will look into the history of Ketchup.

The origins of this tasty condiment, which graces 97% of households in America, lie in the Near West (as I call it because Portland is actually to the east to what everyone else calls the "Far East"). In the 1600s, sailors and merchants brought back a sauce from China called ke-tsiap. Translated, this tasty treat roughly means brine of the picked fish or shellfish.

This sauce was made with anchovies, walnuts, and oysters. The name was changed to catchup, and in 1711 we have the first signs of "ketchup" being marketed. It wasn't until 1812 that the first recipe for ketchup included tomatoes. This crazy invention was created by an ex-pat American, Canadian.

In the 1830s, it was first sold in bottle. In England it was called "tomato chutney" to distinguish it from the former concoction. At that point it was rather runny and almost transparent. (Mmmm...)

In 1837 it was sold nationwide due to the efforts of Jonas Yerkes. Then in 1872, HJ Heinz added ketchup to its pickled products line and introduced it to the Philadelphia fair. To this day, his formula hasn't changed.

In 1981, the Reagan administration tried to get ketchup declared as a vegetable. Because "ketchup" was the actual name of this potential new veggie, companies, such as Del Monte, changed their variable spelling (e.g. catsup) to the now almost standard ketchup.

While Reagan was unable to get ketchup on the vegetable list, it does have some nutritional value. One tablespoon of it has all the nutriets of a medium ripe tomato, and it is rich in anti-oxidants which may decrease cancer risks.

There have been many variations and selling tactics such as colored ketchup, an alleged ketchup flavored ice cream, and celebrity names gracing the packing. Who could forget Lindsay Lohan's Burger-licious ketchup? Still, the regular red ketchup is what graces the shelves and is now an American staple.

Source: eSSORTMENT, Culinary Sleuth, and Planet Ketchup

Ranch Dressing: Condiment

2005-11-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

Where did ranch dressing come from? Hidden Valley claims it is the "original." In case anyone has ever wondered about that claim of Hidden Valley Ranch, I've taken some time to do some research for you.

Ranch dressing is made up of milk, sour cream, mayonnaise, minced green onions and other seasonings. Some people also add cilantro to this mixture. (Mmm, doesn't that sound nice and fatty?)

It was created in California in the 1950s at the Hidden Valley Ranch. Apparently this was a dude ranch near Santa Barbara, California that housed weekend guests. The owner of the ranch, Steve Henson, developed this dressing while in Alaska.

The guests of the ranch loved the dressing so much that soon it was the only dressing served and some people ate it over ice cream. People wanted to take the dressing home, but Henson didn't have enough bottles for everyone. Instead, he put the mixture in an envelope and told the guests how to make it at home with the other ingredients.

Henson eventually started a mail-order business where he sold his packets for the ranch dressing. Eventually, he expanded to the large business that we know today!

Source: Wikipedia and Hidden Valley Ranch

Score for the Hair Dresser

2005-11-21T18:11:00.000-08:00

It's time to give props to Isabeau for her magic with the scissors. I've gotten more compliments on my hair today than I had the entire time I had my last hair cut.

If you want her phone number, email me.

What Needs to Happen

2005-11-20T14:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, so the Trojans almost lost to Fresno State (because I decided to start watching they failed to do so). Fresno state was 16th in the nation. The Trojans have to play #12 UCLA next week. USC is undefeated.

Texas has to play Texas A&M next week. A&M is 5 and 5. They are 4th in their half of the conference. They've also lost their last three games. One of those was against #16 Texas Tech. Texas is undefeated.

LSU is #3. The BSC rankings have yet to come out, but most likely they will be #4 in the BSC. In order to make it to the national championship, Both USC and Texas must lose next week. While there is a slight chance it could happen with the Trojans, I fear A&M cannot live up to its duty.

Yes, I recognize that if LSU had not lost to Tennessee, we would not need all this to happen. But maybe the stars will align. Maybe the BSC will finally put LSU in the right spot (#3). Maybe only one team needs to lose. If all this happens, then LSU might be going to the Rose Bowl to become national champions.

I believe all this can happen.

OH MY GOD!

2005-11-16T15:56:00.000-08:00

In a little over a month, I'm going to be 25. That sounds so old. I can't believe I'm reaching my mid-twenties. When did I get here and how?

On a good note, I got to see a sneak peek of the new Harry Potter movie. I'll save discussion after the real release for fear of those who have not seen it yet getting mad at me.

Back to my freak out. Twenty-five and direction in life. I will have a really good paying job when I graduate. All of my friends will be leaving town. I'll stay here in Portland with my job. When I leave my job and this town I will be at least 28. That's almost 30! I'm getting old.

TWENTY-FIVE. I remember being 16 and singing the song from The Sound of Music. Now my brother is about to be 17 going on 18. "I am 24 going on 25" just doesn't have a musical ring to it.

Plus, at this point in my life my mom was married and had given birth to me. I'm still in school and very far away from being married (or having kids for that matter.)

TWENTY-FIVE.

Panda Porn

2005-11-13T15:11:00.000-08:00

Apparently porn can be used for educational purposes:

On the trivial side, pandas in captivity sometimes are not successful at mating. Usually, this is due to lack of experience. In order to tackle this problem, keepers of the bears in China have been known to show "pornographic/educational" videos to the bears, the contents being pandas having sex with each other. Amazingly, the bears get stimulated by the videos. However, it is not likely that they learn from the video itself; rather, scientists believe that the audio content of excited pandas has an impact on the bears exposed to it.

I find this amazingly interesting. I mean, who knew that porn was the universal foreplay? When it comes down to it, though, couldn't they just play a CD of pandas doing it?

No Bull

2005-11-11T03:17:00.000-08:00

So, the bull was out of commission. Because we're all old fogies, we left the really loud bar and went to the karaoke bar instead. I sang two songs. It was great.

Then we went to the gay bar to dance. Wow, one of the least threatening environments to dance in. You know none of these guys really wants to go home with you. Instead you can just dance away.

Quite an evening.

The Mechanical Bull

2005-11-10T14:28:00.000-08:00

Tonight it's gonna be ridden.

Tomorrow there's gonna be pictures.

Eulogy of a Tank Top

2005-11-09T15:51:00.000-08:00

Dear Black Tank Top,

You were the centerpiece of my wardrobe. You layered so nicely and fit so well. You never lost color or shape. You've been all over the world with me. What will I do without you?

You didn't have that useless shelf-bra. Your straps were perfectly skinny. The black was a perfect black.

Now I'm left alone with the other tank tops, but they don't hold a candle to you. You were everything, and now that you're lost, I find myself lost as well.

I'm sorry to not have recognized your importance when you were mine. It's another case of you don't know what you have until you lose it. I was so careless. You're gone, and I have no idea were to find you.

Know that you will always be in my heart. I will think of you every time I look for a black tank top. My thoughts are with you always.

Love,
Your faithful wearer.

Thought of the Day

2005-11-09T09:41:00.000-08:00

Do non-human entities (like businesses) celebrate birthdays or anniversaries?

Mmm. Banana

2005-11-08T10:53:00.000-08:00

I just had a banana and a quart of milk for breakfast. It was amazingly filling and oh so good.

I think I might have to stop and buy a banana more often.

Portland, Oregon: The Country's Least Date-able City

2005-11-06T15:12:00.000-08:00

As my time here reaches two and half years, I will take time to reflect on the pitiful dating pool that is so shallow, it should be called a puddle.

Single women outnumber single men -> for every 100 women there are 91 men. I know this doesn't seem like a very large difference, but it is very noticeable when you're a woman going out.
The average male in Portland is short. In fact, I've seen very few men who break the 6-foot barrier here. For a woman who is 5'9" (apparently I'm 4 to 5 inches above the average height for women) this places me in a terrible dilemma.
Granola. What does this mean? It means that almost every young person here doesn't give a shit about what they look like: the tattered, Goodwill clothes; the stretched out ears; the multiple piercings; the odd haircuts and hair colors; the unkempt appearance; the ready-to-go-backpacking-at any-moment look; the flannel; the shorts+sweater+flip-flops.
The attitude of most people in Portland is "Let it be." No one seems proactive about relationships - friendship or dating. No one goes out of their way to meet anyone. Everyone seems lazy, unless a tree is dying or an animal is getting run over. No one seems to care about other people.
You're either a partying undergraduate or a happy homemaker. What happened to the in-between? There is no middle ground of twenty-some things who want to meet, hang-out, and have a good time. Old farts and drunk frat boys here.

All this can be yours for the overpriced cost of living here in Portland, Oregon. I can't figure out why we'd be listed as the number 8 city for singles to relocate to. I don't see the value. Real estate is over-priced and the amenities aren't that great.

For almost the same price, I could live in New York, which is the heart of things to do for a single person. I wouldn't even need a car, so all the money for insurance, gas, and maintenance would go into an apartment and make it the same cost to live there. And you get paid more when you work there.

I'm just saying that if you're going to move somewhere, Portland is not the place I would suggest. There are plenty of other places that cost the same and give you more.

Disturbing on So Many Levels

2005-11-04T22:42:00.000-08:00

Check out the hearsay exception movie

The Rain Won't Stop

2005-11-03T18:07:00.000-08:00

It's the fourth day of rain. It won't stop.

I'm really ready for the rain to stop. The water just keeps falling from the sky. It's like being in Louisiana again. I thought I moved away from all this. Let it stop. Let it stop. Let it stop.

Also, the torture that is called Business Principles won't end either. I can't wait to get home and just VEG. That's all this weather is good for anyway.

You Know What Annoys Me?

2005-11-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

Guys.

Well, in a way. I mean I just hate guy behavior. They claim women are hard to read, but I'd like to say there is no rhyme or reason to guy behavior. Nothing I've been able to figure out in my lifetime.

The most recent incident is random people on friendster. I changed my profile seeking friends, activity partners after a few disastrous incidents with two different guys. This third guy emails me (despite the change in status) and we began exchanges messages. I mean for a bit there were probably 5 messages a day.

Just so you know, I'm not someone who just emails back for fun. There has to be something there that I feel is worth talking about. Well, it was all find and dandy until this weekend. I replied to a message of his, and I received a three line response. Thinking that my curt (but cute) ways didn't go across properly over the internet, I tried to write back a nicer message (that didn't really require a response.) The dialogue opened up again, and it seemed OK.

I didn't hear back for a while. I didn't really stress. Then yesterday I received a "Happy Halloween" email that asked about my weekend. I didn't hold back. Maybe I should have, but really why should I? Maybe I scared him off. Maybe my drinking (which is something I will not give up) seemed excessive. Anyone who knows law students couldn't feel that way, though.

In any event, no response. One word: Lame.

I'm beginning to truly believe that any guy looking to date through friendster isn't worth dating.

And I wasn't even looking to date anyone!

Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican

2005-11-01T13:04:00.000-08:00

On the origins of the party mascots:

The Democrats think of the elephant as bungling, stupid, pompous and conservative -- but the Republicans think it is dignified, strong and intelligent. On the other hand, the Republicans regard the donkey as stubborn, silly and ridiculous -- but the Democrats claim it is humble, homely, smart, courageous and loveable.

Adlai Stevenson provided one of the most clever descriptions of the Republican's symbol when he said, "The elephant has a thick skin, a head full of ivory, and as everyone who has seen a circus parade knows, proceeds best by grasping the tail of its predecessor."

The Invisible Monster

2005-10-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

I stood there, waiting patiently. I knew that my time to be slow was coming. I wasn't about to tempt the fates by being hypocritical. I grabbed the weekly flyer and slowly perused through it. Nothing about Fred Meyer screamed readable, but it was enough to distract me from the unbelievable slow process of returning a kitchen timer that was going on in front of me.

My anticipation swelled as I felt the impatience of the partner of the soon-to-be former kitchen timer owner grow. Even he felt it was an unusually long time to get back a few bucks. I concentrated harder on the glossy pages filled with useless junk.

Finally, the man left with the lowest sale price in his pocket. I think it was seven bucks. I casually walked to the counter and asked to redeem the powerball ticket. I made it a point to make sure the bills were small enough to feed back into the ticket machine.

Again I waited. People tried to force the machine to take their crumpled tens and twenties. The machine continued to reject them, as if to say, "You ain't gonna win, sucka. Take your shitty money and buy you a nice flower or something." I refused to be impatient. I had decided to wait until 5:15, only 45 minutes before the machine shut down for the nightly drawing. Because of the insistence of the people in front of me, the line of the people behind me grew.

Finally it was my turn. I held the five twenties in my hand and silently prayed to the lottery gods to accept my bill without issue. I was going to take a while and I didn't want the mob to become an angry one.

The first bill slid in effortlessly. I began the monotonous process of pressing Powerball, No, $5, 1. Those were the answers that corresponded to the questions posed by the lottery machine: which game, power play, dollars per draw, and how many drawings, respectively.

Because I could only print out a five dollar ticket at a time, the process was a little slow. I became a machine. Twenty dollar bill, sequence of buttons four times, repeat.

Again, I felt the impatience behind me growing. I refused to look back because I didn't want to acknowledge their shifting and silent groaning. I knew I was being a little obnoxious, but I wasn't going to step aside for all the people to go and risk not getting my tickets. Then I would have the ire of the powerball pool to answer to.

Each of the next three bills slid in effortlessly as well. Sometime during my fourth twenty, I thought I heard the voice of a woman behind me saying, "Come on!" But it might have been the paranoia talking at that point. I started to relax as I ignored the swell of impatience growing behind me. I only had one more twenty left.

But the machine spit it back out. I pleaded silently for the bill to go in. I tried every direction, but the machine was angry with me. At that point, I would normally leave the line to get a new twenty, but I knew that my time at the machine had added to the line that had formed while I was waiting patiently. Unfortunately, the people behind me weren't so patient.

Refusing to acknowledge that there might be a problem, I continued to ask the machine to accept my bill. I tried to stand taller, to exude a confidence that I didn't give a shit, but I was crumbling. Finally a man walked up and switched twenties with me. The machine was fooled by this action and graciously accepted it. Four more time I went through my button pushing ritual and then gathered up my tickets.

I then meekly turned around, trying to find the kind man and said to him and to the crowd in general, "Thank you."

I knew why I was thanking the man, but I don't know why I was thanking the line. For not killing me and taking my tickets? For not tar and feathering me? For not booing me out of the line? For only muttering their words of impatience?

In any event, I walked away with 100 entries for the 300 million (remember to say that with your pinky at the corner of your mouth) dollar jackpot. Maybe my next entry will be as a lady of leisure (say it leh-zhur). Let's all hope!

Hmm...

2005-10-14T13:27:00.000-07:00

What doesn't Louisiana get about basic planetary science? Maybe that we didn't actually extend the daylight when we created daylight savings time.

From KATC.com, a Louisiana abc affiliate:
Daylight saving time is due to end October 30th. But the New Orleans City Council asked Governor Blanco to extend that deadline to give construction workers more daylight hours.

Happy Thought for the Day

2005-10-12T19:04:00.000-07:00

Courtsey of ESPN.com:

Don't write LSU out of the championship mix just yet, either. The Tigers collapsed in the second half against Tennessee in a 30-27 overtime loss, but still have as much talent as anybody in the league.

An Admiration Reborn

2005-10-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

Every now and then, my Christian Bale appreciation hits again. I think it might have started when I saw Batman Begins, but I think it's more noticeable now because I watched Newsies last night. That's one of my favorite CB movies. Then I looked up his filmography, and somehow I have seen an insane amount of CB films and I own about 3 or 4 of his earlier (before American Psycho fame) movies. I have loved him since high school. I still love him. The fervor with which I love him spikes every now and then, but I love him.

I just thought I would share because I know there are a few other people out there who would truly understand what I am saying.

Oh So Sick...

2005-10-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'm an expert today in class. Right now. I didn't prepare. This is real time...

So far 32 minutes have passed. I need the next 48 minutes to go by as fast. I didn't do the next reading.

34 minutes into class: The one comment I have made has been completely off. I think the next question should be mine. Let's see.. OK, we're going back. Phew. A little more time is mine.

36 minutes into class: Oh damn, I knew an easy question that I didn't get in.

40 minutes into class: Halfway over. I'm up.

42 minutes into class: I just did it. It wasn't too bad. But it's still gonna be pretty bad.

44 minutes into class: I've never been so happy to hear that bitchy classmate challenge the professor. Please, please, please keep her busy. Keep raising your hands, classmates.

48 minutes into class: Shit, now we're doing a new section that I haven't read for yet. Fuck, fuck fuck. I still have 30 minutes of class now.

53 minutes into class: Fuck fuck fuck... maybe I'll be saved with the fact the next question deals with the section I did read.

59 minutes into class: Ok, she just gave out a handout with an outline how to answer questions. I am lucky so far. We still haven't gotten to the next question (or me, yet). I just have to make it through the next 20 minutes of class. I just have to keep breathing.

65 minutes into class: I just got a question completely wrong. She had to point me to the right place. If I had read, then I would have known the answer... Oops, my bad.

70 minutes into class: I gave a definition in class. I'm trying to make up for my fumble. I only have 10 more minutes to get through.

76 minutes into class: Almost... Over...

78 minutes into class: I answered a question properly. One more minute and I will be free from this punishment.

80 minutes -- FREEDOM! I survived!!

YES!

2005-10-05T10:08:00.000-07:00

I have moved forward on my paper. (A requirement for graduation.)

Today I have completed a 50-word outline of my paper. Now I have to convert that into a decent outline to show my professor. Then I have to convert that into a 25-page paper. At least the paper is double spaced...

Spamming Comments

2005-10-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

After the first comment with a link, I didn't think much. I thought there might have been an overzealous fan out there. That should have been my first clue.

Then I got another comment from a different person about a different website! I knew something was up at that point.

Because of this, I had to enable the comment verification. I'm sorry if this causes you any trouble, but I'm sure you'd rather go through the extra step than reading about diaper cakes or online dating services.

I Loved It!

2005-09-27T00:24:00.000-07:00

How did it take me this long to watch Batman Begins?

I did finally see it tonight, and wow. I must say, quite impressive. They managed to make the movie fly by. And only the car chase scene seemed to take up too much time. (Fun with the batmobile, I presume?)

Yes, I love comic book movies. No, I don't really read comic books. But, I did feel this fleshed out so many relationships in the Batman world. And Batman has always been my favorite super hero. Think about it: he's the only super hero without "super" powers. He's merely rich... Oh, and smart. That's his power, being able to buy the super cool gadgets and knowing how to use them.

And the female lead was a strong lead! Yea for the writers! I mean she was the one who knew what she wanted and knew that it wasn't time to have it. Thank you for finally making a female lead of substance!

Anyway, happy happy goes the movie world tonight. Always enjoyable when a good movie puts you to bed.

My New Addiction

2005-09-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I'm going salsa dancing again. All of my recent clothes purchases have revolved around salsa dancing. New dresses, new shoes, new sweaters. I need a new skirt. A black one. So I can wear lots of other shirts I have. I even practiced last night -- by myself.

I want to get so much better. I think Dancing with the Stars Dance-Off inspired me, I guess. After tonight, I will have gone every week since school started. That's more than I can say about other things this school year.

SALSA!

My New Hair Cut

2005-09-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

I've decided I hate my new hair cut. I think it's because it's shorter than I really wanted it. Well, at least my hair grows quickly. It should be back to a length I like in a month or two.

And I know other people aren't too impressed with it either. You know how when people really don't like something, they don't even mention that you got anything done? There are quite a few people who somehow managed to not notice that I cut off about 3 inches of my long hair into a very short almost page-boy cut. Did they really not notice it, or do they want to avoid saying anything and having to lie about liking it? I think it's the latter.

My New Favorite Drink

2005-09-07T00:54:00.000-07:00

Oh, and I’m in love with martinis. Not the girly fruity ones. Just some gin and vermouth. Oh, and a few olives and their juice. HEAVEN.

Why Do Guys Do This?

2005-09-07T00:40:00.000-07:00

Going out with a girl friend tonight, I didn't really have it on my agenda to try and meet anyone. But when a guy walks by not once, but twice, and gives the eyebrows raised smile and nod, why would that be all that is exchanged? If he has the confidence to do this, why wouldn't he have the confidence to at least walk up to the table? Especially when I actually smile back?

But no, the two creepy car salesmen approach the table. Once each. Once too many time each. Didn't we show we weren't interested the first time you approached the table?

What Are You Doing?

2005-09-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

Hurricane Katrina is a bitch. She's ruined my home state. What am I doing about it?

Organizing relief drives.

Asking my friends to contribute.

Asking local merchants to donate.

Maybe starting a coin drive.

What are you going to do?

I know one thing someone isn't going to do: President Bush won't set his pristine self on the muddied land of Louisiana. He's going to get by with flying low over the city. Asshole.

New York Rocks

2005-08-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing day today. It started a little earlier that I thought it would, but it was great anyway.

I took the Staten Island Ferry and rode straight past the Statute of Liberty. Plus, I got some really great shots of the Manhattan skyline and the Brooklyn Bridge. Then I had lunch that the famed Condé Nast lunchroom. After that I walked through Times Square. I bought some make-up at Sephora. Then I went to the New York Public Library. I took a picture of the Chrysler Building. Then I went to Grand Central Station. I took the subway uptown. Then I walked around the Met for a couple of hours. They ushered me (and the rest of the crowd) out when the museum closed. After that I took the subway back to my friend's apartment.

I have tons of pictures. I'll post the gallery when I get back.

Man, my lower back is sore... I'm not used to all this walking!

New York: Day 3

2005-08-22T20:08:00.000-07:00

I've survived the impossible... Actually just the subway, but it was exciting nonetheless. I've been doing the tourist-y New York things lately. I figured if I get enough of them out of the way this time, it won't be an issue to come just for a weekend later.

It was cooler today than it was this past weekend. I still wore shorts, and I am glad I did. It was fun to see all the other tourists around. Plus I got some pretty cool clothes here. Fun fun fun shopping.

It's late again and I finished the night off with sweets. It seems to be a recurring theme. Who cares? I seem to be walking at least a couple of miles a day. Today I probably walked close to four. In fact, my lower back is sore. I would not be a member of a gym if I worked here. That's for sure.

Ok, I'm off to bed now. I'll update you some more later.

And Then I Realized, Maybe I Didn't Pack Too Much

2005-08-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

As I wrap up a little more than 30 hours in New York, I have come to the realization that it's fucking hot here. Not like really hot, just you sweat a lot hot. And I had to come home at three and take my second shower. I wore two separate outfits today. A pair of jeans are completely out of commission unless I find a laundromat.

All of a sudden, I became quite happy that I packed one too many shirts.

Lame-O, or When Did I Become This Person?

2005-08-14T03:28:00.000-07:00

How often is it that a girl goes to a club, finds a guy she's attracted to that she dances with, makes conversation with, and seems to hit it off with? I'd say not to often. So, that begs the question, what the hell happened?

I'd like to let everyone know I'm wondering the same thing. After a little steam on the dance floor, there was a bit of conversation. Then the male pals decided it was time to go. What does Mr. guy do? He informs Ms. interested that his friends want to go, but he expects to be in Portland a bit. Ms. interested flashes her best smile. Mr. guy then hugs Ms. interested and kisses her on the cheek.

And then leaves.

What??

Totally lame-o, I know.

Being a bit peeved, Ms. interested decides to write a note. She hands it to someone who know someone who knows him.

I bet you're all wondering what the note said.

Mr. guy, when you grow a pair...
(555) phone number.

Was it the gargantuan amount of vodka or a bit of nerve that entered Ms. interested? All I know is she never does this. I'll keep you informed of what happens.

Upgrade?

2005-08-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

I hate upgrading to a new "version" of a program and nothing is apparently different. It's not one of those crappy mircosoft security update things that aren't supposed to be apparent. I should be able to notice a difference and see the improved efficiency of the program.

Strangely it looks exactly the same except the program name now has 4.0 after it.

Thank god I didn't pay for this upgrade. Then I might have been pissed.

Today

2005-08-09T22:33:00.000-07:00

A few things about today:

The Muppet Show, Season 1 came out on DVD today. V. pleasant.

Work was kind of a drag. Not much to do and I'm leaving in a week. Not the best time to start getting new projects. Anyway, I have a presentation to give Thursday.

I re-watched a few episodes of Entourage. I really like that show.

I also made some headway on the agent thing. Yea. At least I know what I'm supposed to be doing. Paying my loans, though, will not be one of those things for a while. All in due time.

I went to the gym. I am trying to eat right. I've been going regularly. I just don't feel I'm making any progress. We'll have to see what the trainer says Thursday.

I didn't go grocery shopping. I'm seriously running low on food. I will have to go soon. I can't keep eating like this.

Ready to go to bed. I'm way tired. Good night.

Seriously

2005-08-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

I think I'm due for another career change... this would be #3? I'm not sure. I can't keep track anymore.

I'm looking at either becoming an agent (as in movie, television, etc.) or working in DC for a senator or representative. Either of those excite me and involve moving. I don't mind the moving thing. I can say I haven't found as much in Portland to keep me here as I thought I would. Almost all of my friends are transplants just like me. I can't imagine many of them staying around for a while.

I do enjoy Portland. It's a great city. I just wish there was more here for me. I just don't think patent is the field for me. Maybe I'll change my mind if I get an offer from this firm. It might be nice to use it for a few years to pay off loans. Still, I'm young enough now that I can still get some living done.

LA is becoming a serious option. The last time I thought I would move to LA was almost 10 years ago. I kind of forgot about it since then. It just might be time for a change. At least I would be moving to another blue state. Who knows how long it will stay blue though.

And DC would be just as awesome. It doesn't fit the million people standard I set, but I think I can make an exception for our nation's capital. Just being so close to all those great cities gives it a boost.

Who knows. In a month or two, I could be aiming to be an animal trainer. We'll just have to see.

Irony

2005-08-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

I wish I could close my door to block out some of that construction noise, but they have yet to install the doors.

What's all the noise about? Installing the new doors.

2005-08-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of being me today.

Why Is ABC Fucking with Me?

2005-08-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

I've been diligently watching LOST, trying to catch up on the episodes I missed before I got hooked. I've been the faithful fan, watching every week, no matter what happens. I've gotten to the point where there are only two episodes I haven't seen. What does ABC do? Skips episode 10... one of the ones I haven't seen! Why? It's like I've been in a time warp or something. Did I miss a week? Or is it that they just want to piss me off?

I think it's the latter. What the fuck is wrong with them?

I Hate the Geeks

2005-08-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

After years of free sandwiches, Subway is phasing out its Sub Club. Apparently these geeks keep trying to get something for nothing. I really enjoyed getting my 10th sandwich free. How many people really think they are replacing the program?

Not me.

*Sigh*

Anyone Else Find This Disturbing?

2005-07-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

What's left of a movie like Seven?

What Hollywood Has Taught Me about Religion

2005-07-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm glad Hollywood has cleared up a few questions for me. When the end of the world comes, it will happen as defined by the Roman Catholic Religion. A Catholic priest usually has the answer. The Virgin Mary, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit obviously protect us. The Catholic version of Heaven, Hell, and salvation are all that exist.

The only people who warrant protection from demons and vampires are Catholics, or at least those who bow to the Catholic ways. Holy water (as blessed by the priest) and the cross are a mortal's best protection. And as a vampire, it doesn't matter what religion you practiced when you were alive, you will cower before Catholic paraphernalia.

Also, Angels are pissed off as hell (no pun intended) at us humans. Apparently, they despise the fact that we get that silly salvation and forgiveness (as defined by the Catholic church) and the fact that we take it for granted. They're always trying to destroy humans. So... don't trust angels.

So basically, Catholicism is the only religion in the world. And angels hate us. Thanks, Hollywood. I don't know what I would have done without you.

New Favorite Song

2005-07-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

100 Years by Five for Fighting

Yes, it takes me a while to catch on. That stupid Chase commercial (with whom I have a card) finally go to me. I read the lyrics today, and they're quite pretty.

I love songs that speak to me.

Spouses and Significant Others Welcome

2005-07-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

Those words hold so much for those without.

My firm is having a party to celebrate the new office/image/etc. Because a trip to LA was cancelled, I am suddenly able to go. When I RSVP-ed, I was kindly informed that I could bring my someone special.

I laughed. Out loud. I surprised the girl who was taking down the information.

I think it's funny that was my reaction. I guess I just didn't realize how funny I thought it would be that I would be invited to bring my spouse/SO. I think it's because of how much I'm not looking to have a spouse or SO at this point. Everything keeps affirming that for me.

I think I'm going to throw a party where only those without spouses or SOs are invited. I think that would be great.

This Is What 3 Hours of Sleep Looks Like

2005-07-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

For some odd reason I couldn't sleep past 3 this morning. When I saw daybreak, I got out of bed and decided to come to work. It's 7:15 in the morning, and I've already been here over an hour. I think that is not normal.

I wonder if I'll last the day. I have a large cup of black tea next to me (free hot water from Starbucks and free tea from the office). I think I'm going to die. Why couldn't I sleep last night?

Harry Potter

2005-07-16T21:36:00.000-07:00

I just finished the book. Anyone else who is done let me know because I'm ready to talk about it.